Priceless Tips To Feel More Free This Independence Day.

Do's

1. Go to your nearest Shopping Mall and shop specifically those articles which give something free with it. Sort of 'Buy 1 get 1 free'. If you search properly you might also get objects where you buy 1 and get 3 free. Go for those. The more 'free' you get, the happier you will feel.

2. For non-IT people: Get a chair, drag it to a corner (preferably facing a wall) and sit still for as long as you can (at least for 2 hours at a stretch). Then go to your balcony, take a deep breath. Does it not feel wonderful to be free?
For IT professionals: Since you do this exercise for the better part of every day, you can skip this. Infact you can supervise your non-IT folks when they do it. After all no one knows the rules of this game better than you!

3. Collect as many mattresses as you can from your neighbors, arrange the mattresses at the base of a high rise, climb to the rooftop, and position yourself at the edge below which you have placed the mattresses. Then with your head held high and hands spread out jump off. Free-falling is not only a very 'in' thing to do (must have seen all superheroes do it in the movies), but also gives a wonderful sensation of feeling as light and free as a bird. You can also tip off some news channel . That way, at the end of the day, you will not only get a wonderful experience but also nationwide sympathy (remember the live footage of a girl trying to jump off the roof?)

4. Are you angry or displeased with somebody? Do you feel blood rushing to your face whenever you meet one specific person. Lets call this person 'target'. Well this independence day round up your target at some street corner and give him a free-kick. Or you might also go for free-style punches too. Whichever way you are comfortable.

5. Watch Born Free. This 1966 film, with a lion as a central character establishes the fact that freedom is a state of mind. You can have all the freedom in the world but not be free. On the other hand you can be tied down and yet be free. It's all in the mind.

Don'ts

1. Please don’t watch Independence Day Related films. The rifle shots, bomb explosions, freedom cries (or rather patriotic howls) depicted in these movies causes too much of sound pollution.

2. Don't give free smiles to anybody and everybody around you. This isn't exactly 1AD where you get a smile or maybe a good turn in return for your smile. You might also get a wink or a comment or a whistle for free, needless to say, none of them very desirable.

3. Incase you manage to get slapped on one cheek don't even think of following Gandhigiri and extending your other cheek also, for free, to get slapped. The ‘bhai log's’ these days practice a lot of body building. One more slap and you might go straight up to Mahatma himself.

4. It's advisable that you don't schedule any picnic this independence day. Reasons are as follows
a. Some political party might grab the opportunity to call a bandh or strike or political meeting or procession, in short whatever causes the maximum chaos.
b. Even if there aren't any political unrest, 99.99% chances are that you won't get any square millimetre patch of green grass/concrete free on that day at any ‘picnic'able’ place. Sometimes, I feel Independence Day should be renamed as 'Picnic day'. So only if there’s a provision for booking a picnic spot beforehand then go ahead with your picnic plan, though even then chances are that the concerned booking person will be bribed by some other party at the last moment.

5. Lastly, kindly don't make national flags out of paper or cloth either for yourself or your kids. You might be charged/arrested for using our national flag for the wrong reason. Naturally imprisonment, publicity, nationwide concern and finally SMS poll will follow. We are honestly tired sms'ing for every goddamn reason. Give us a break!






Disclaimer Text: 1. Follow the above DO's and DONT's at your own risk.
2. If you get any positive result the author takes full
credit of that.Incase of any unfavourable result
please refer to disclaimer no 1.