Us

When I am down and depressed and nothing around seems working right, there’s one medicine that makes me feel better; I will myself to think about ‘us’ and the times that we have spent together. As the memories come streaming in, a slow smile gradually creeps in and I feel better. When I get tired after a hard day and try looking for reason as to why the hell should I move on to the next day, then there’s one dream that gives me the reason to carry on, that of ‘us’ coming together again……all five of us. At this moment we are spread in 4 different places – 3 different countries and 4 different cities in all. We are still very much in touch with each other, but nothing compares to the blast we have when we all get together, each of us weirdoes in our own unique ways. And anyway, phone and email are hardly replacements for meeting up in person!
What had initially brought us together in first year of college was our common habit of walking from college to the bus stop, a 25-30 mins walk…there were other modes of transport like auto etc obviously, but we preferred walking. That used to be our unwinding session after a ‘hard and tiring’ day in college. All types of totally silly, crappy and utterly nonsense observations, thoughts and ideas used to be exchanged. There used to be a lot of other friends too then…Whether it would be a hot summer afternoon or a stormy day, examination day or not, we would never take the 5 mins auto ride, but walk all the way back. I am not too good as far as road sense is concerned, and my friends used to be (infact still are) my guide. They would grumble at my lack of road sense and at the same time make sure that I reach home safely.
There’s a saying that it takes a lot of trust to share your dreams with somebody else. One reason why we enjoy each others company I guess is that, we trust each other with our dreams. We never thought twice before sharing any of our thoughts, never measured the length of what is being said. It feels so very comfortable and relaxing with them around, cause I can just be myself and stop bothering about everything else.
It’s not that everything has been rosy all the way so far. We are five different persons with five different brains after all. Just as we have been through highs together, we have also faced lows. Such lows that honestly, there have been times when I feared that maybe, this is it…there’s no getting back together…But surprisingly, we have come together again. I don’t regret those times either, cause I feel that it’s more because of the lows that we have faced, that we have come together stronger than ever. Now, after almost 6 and a half years of being together, I feel confident (and I think the others feel the same way too) that no matter what happens, we will stick together and that even if I err, I won’t be misunderstood. It’s easy to say such things, but it takes years to build up this belief and the confidence and sense of security that this belief gives is immense.

I intend to force the other four to read this, since this post is for them. But I have serious doubts if I’ll be successful. Three of us are avid readers, but other than me, of the other two, one is so busy that she hardly gets time to eat and sleep….. and the other one is suffering from serious lack of concentration in everything these days as it’s summer in the country he is now in, and it seems, women there feel the heat a bit too much :-p! Now, of the other two left, the one in US does have this ambition that someday, someway he will read something…but that ambition has not been satisfied yet. And as for the other one, the last book read was Rapunzel!

Prelude

There’s a big screen in City Center which shows some channel or the other and countless people sit and keep watching whatever is shown… That day I discovered that they also show some other stuff. While I was returning I saw two smiling male faces on that huge screen, with a message written which went on something like this ‘I feel blessed to have friends like you’. The lady I was with pointed out that those two guys were sitting on a step, with a friend, and watching the screen with big surprised eyes. Obviously, their friend had done this to surprise them on their birthday.
At that moment I missed all my friends terribly, and at the same time I complained to my colleague that ‘I wish my friends did something like this to surprise me’.
Later, I made a conscious effort to count the number of times they have surprised me or made a moment memorable… I started remembering so many things, that after a while I simply lost count… True, they had never surprised me by posting any message onscreen, but they have surprised me numerous times with their concerns for me and with their patience in listening to every stupid little thing that I had to say. Touched me numerous times by spoiling me, by going out of their way to make me feel wanted and have made so many memorable moments in the process that they are enough to sustain me for an entire lifetime.
Then, I made an attempt to think what I have done for them. I discovered that I could not remember doing anything worthwhile, except for blabbering nonsense. I also never thanked them for all those precious moments, nor have I ever tried proving how much I treasured and needed their being beside me. Surprisingly, at this moment, almost all my close friends are out of city…. Some in a different country on business, some away in different city for studies and some even farther away… Since the past few days I have suddenly been feeling this urge to thank them and tell them how much they mean to me… This again is so against my nature that I don’t have any idea as to how it is to be done. So I will take an easy way out. My next post(s) will be a tribute to those friends who still, fortunately, tolerate me… and, maybe, also to the ones who have stopped doing so… Let’s see, if I can bribe those still beside me, in tolerating me for some more time!

Poems

I can't believe my luck! I could log into my blog from office!... I was reading two of my favourite poems and am going to paste an excerpt of each here. First one is famous, so no points if you can guess the poem and author. Here it is...

"IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: ..."

The second one is uncommon, though I am sure all of us have come across it sometime or the other. If you can guess the source of this poem (without googling), then give yourself full marks.
NB : I think you are old enough to define what ‘full’ means to you.
Warning : Don’t try to decipher the meaning of this poem.

They told me you had been to her, And mentioned me to him : She gave me a good character, But said I could not swim.
He sent them word I had not gone (We know it to be true): If she should push the matter on, What would become of you?
.
.
If I or she should chance to be Involved in this affair, He trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as we were.
.
Don't let him know she liked them best, For this must ever be A secret, kept from all the rest, Between yourself and me.

I think......

It feels great and powerful and important to have a blog! I mean, I am not a celebrity or something, so my words and thoughts are not of any importance to newspapers and news channels. So what? If I have got something to say to the entttttire world, I can always do so! How? Through my blog of course! This is my space….I don’t have any idea if anybody will actually read it…Nevertheless, this space is accessible to everybody and they can always read if they want to. That’s enough. And who knows, if I become famous (or infamous) someday, my blog will also become famous! Wow, what an exciting thought!
Again, unlike news channels and news papers and stuff, you do not have the burden to be politically correct in your blog…For example, I don’t have to think twice before saying that I think all politicians are frustrated in their personal lives, and they take out their frustrations on common people. I can always write that here, just like I can also write that I simply hate Amitabh Bachchan’s interviews, he tries to be sooooo diplomatic that I start feeling nauseated! I also feel that it’s high time Pepsi starts recruiting new creative talents (like me) for making their ads. All their latest ones are in one word crap and I should mention that I feel like hanging those idiots who closed the airport restrooms today in support of the bandh. Uncivilized people.
Am I hurting you with my thoughts?
Ok, I am not sorry, please click the ‘Next Blog’ link at the top left hand corner.
Oh yes, now that I am speaking my mind I must say that I think the center should ban all the reality shows that require sms polling. Every participant, judge and show organizer knows that finally, the wrong person is going to be voted to be the winner, yet money making is so important that they don’t change the format! Sometimes I feel, incase the right and deserving person wins, then there must have been something wrong with the shows publicity campaign!!! What a noble thought! I simply don’t understand why people always vote for the wrong things like wrong participant, wrong political party (to mention a few relatively simple and tangible wrongs). The people I interact with seem sensible to me, logically speaking they represent a cross section of the people who vote. But voting results are always wrong, does this imply that all the people I do not interact with are stupid? Or are they stupid because I don’t interact with them? What the hell am I saying! Perfect nonsense I guess. Well, it’s my blog and I can say anything.!

I wish I could write in bengali also, that is without having to take pains to install some language software and also without having to worry how to reflect the Bengali letters in the webpage. I think a few things cannot be expressed as effectively in any other language other than ones own mother tongue. And it’s not only effectiveness, a few things I don’t feel like saying only if not in Bengali…

I was hoping that tomorrow’s bandh will get called off and I don’t have to go to office at 5:30am tomorrow…what on earth am I going to do that early in office I don’t know!

Infact, I was almost sure that tomorrow’s bandh will be cancelled, seeing the problems faced today and anyways theres no point in calling bandh on two consecutive days on the same issue. But didi always manages to exceed expectations. Dada’s too sometimes do a few intelligent things. And I am not talking about Saurav Ganguly. A news channel headline that I saw an hour before said ‘Biman Bose has requested Mamata to withdraw tomorrows bandh’. In other words, by doing this he ensured that the bandh will not be withdrawn. Probably these dada(s) are wicked enough to know that didi would become more popular by calling off the bandh than by implementing it. But, as I said before, didi has an intellect beyond our expectation and comprehension…

Anyways, enough of my delirious revelries, for the time being that is….