First Rains, My Bag and Life in general.

After months of excellent service, the zipper of the bag that I carry to office finally gave in. Yesterday being a holiday (rather Holi (day)), I decided to dedicate the evening in transferring my belongings from that bag to another one. In case you are wondering, yes, it did take me better half of the evening to complete the task. My friends in my previous project used to tease me saying that I always make plans of running away; hence I carry such a huge bag bursting with God-knows-what. Well every time I change bags, I start with a few basic things, then I keep stuffing one thing after another and finally something similar to what happened day before yesterday happens, that is either the zipper or one of the stitches give up, and well, time for a new one! And the same old process continues.

As I transferred things from my old bag to the new one I was surprised to discover a few things that I had been actually searching for quite some days now and had no idea that they were there in my bag! Most of the paper found their way to the dustbin (read floor) - countless ATM slips, shopper stop and pantaloon bills, scraps of paper where I noted things which were of utmost importance then, but probably I never took them out to consult twice! And there were a few other things also, things that I carry with me wherever I go. A note from a long lost friend, a coffee shop napkin containing a list of things that needs to be done.... Every time I transfer these from one bag to another I think of the time when I put them in my bag; Months or probably years have gone by since the day.... ....

I make separate piles of things that I would and would not carry in my bag. I keep those few things along with the ones which I would no longer carry in my bag. I move on to the next item.. However I don't stop thinking about those. Finally, they again find their way back to the safest corner of my new bag! How predictable I have become!

Late last night Calcutta experienced the first 'Kalbaisakhi' of the season. Kalbaisakhi, or Norwester, is known to be the messenger of change. It blows and washes away all the old leaves and branches and makes way for the new ones. 'Jak puraton smriti, jak bhule jawa geeti...'.. One entire wall of the room I sleep in has been kept open, with railing and glass panes of course (I am claustrophobic!), and thus looks like a pseudo balcony. At other times its nice to have an entire side open like this. But in times of storms like the one of yesterday night, when the entire glass and grill structure shakes and looks like the glass would break any moment it feels scary. I saw the tree in front of my window being ripped off the dry dead leaves and branches.. A crow was hanging on to the bits and pieces of what was left of it's nest.... As I sat on my bed and watched the fury unfold all that was going through my mind was of days past. I realized that perhaps it's not a good idea to wash away all that is past. Infact, it's not possible either to wash away all that's past. Will the tree forget the leaves that it had given birth to and that got blown away? Weird thought maybe, but I wish I knew how things work with trees! With humans, no matter how strong a storm they go through, it really cannot wash away anything that's past, be it good or bad. Yes, it might give a new perspective, a new way to look at old things.. a better understanding of how things were, that's it. And what is life if you don't have any sweet and sour memory to indulge in, specially on such a beautiful night!